Natyr Lucio

This poem was wonderful. You used the element of drama without error and without end. They way you carried it throughout the poem was done very well. Also, the grackling ...

So I think you captured the angsty and overdramatic thing. It's not unbearingly overdramatic, so that's good. The one thing that acts against you (and it acts against you in ...

I liked the idea of emotion as an enemy in this, the conscience of the character causing the problems. It took a couple of times of reader to get all ...

Hm.... Well, I wasn't incredibly fond of this as a poem. It was a good question to ponder, to expand the horizon of thoughts. However, though it makes us think, ...

This was amazing. I enjoyed this very much, and here's the reasons that I can actually give. The fragmented flow was perfect. The images and language use were powerful. You ...

The repetition of line structure in some parts, and even the limit thereof, was lovely. You used that very well. You provided great imagery and contrasting of themes, between what ...

I really enjoyed this. It seemed like you had a fragmented flow, but I realized that it wasn't fragmented, but meant to be followed. You guided the reader through, not ...

The end was abrupt, unexpected, and yes definitely need some leading into it. Otherwise, it totally defeats the purpose of the poem up until that point. There was a disrupted ...

Your flow totally shifted in the middle of the poem. The random shifting of sentence structure also didn't work too well for you. I liked how the theme of the ...

Um, yeah...guys are materialistic where I live. They don't think jeans before they think Hollister or American Eagle. It's all about brand name to a lot of guys here, because ...

Okay. Flow gets choppy at parts. It's nothing extreme, but definitely something to look into correcting. Also, the poem switches language use several times. At one point, it will use ...

Some criticism I was able to gather: You changed your theme from self-based to relationship-based toward the end of the poem, which threw off the meaning you held constant throughout ...

It seems more like you half-imitated something by E.E. Cummings. There was really no point behind it; there was no intensity, no invoked feeling. It was just kind of...there. I ...

I got what you meant. A few short criticisms I picked up on. There were several spelling errors, so perhaps you should have friends check poetry over after you revise ...

Great poem, and the narrative structure was virtually flawless. However, I do think you should have carried that romantic intensity further. It missed a climax. You build up the audience's ...